January 2nd, 2019

“After a little while I just stopped highlighting your book as I read it and decided I’d be better off highlighting what didn’t fit to save some ink!”

– a psychoanalytic colleague

Posted in | Comments Closed

January 30th, 2015

“The Normal One has answered so much about the relationships between my sibling and me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing it.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

January 30th, 2015

“The Normal One sat in my bedside table drawer for over two years, but I was scared to read it. Last night I picked it up and finished it just now. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you for writing this book. I have watched my brother go in and out of mania and repression for 40 years. He has been hospitalized more than 20 times. I never had my own children for fear of passing on my “bad geners.” I have undergone therapy many times and have come a long way, but your book was by far the most comforting and truthful addition to my recovery.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

April 1st, 2013

“Dear Dr. Safer,

I just found you online and immediately ordered three of your books (The Normal One, Forgiving and Not Forgiving, and Death Benefits). Just reading your website has provided more validation than a lifetime of therapy and support by extended family and friends.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

November 21st, 2012

“Thank you for your book. As the wife of a “Normal” sibling who survived a childhood with a devious, verbally abusive sister, your book has become a bible for my understanding of my spouse’s issues — and a big part of helping to keep our marriage together!”

Posted in | Comments Closed

November 18th, 2012

“I am so glad I found your book! I left my home in Africa four years ago, and now I understand why I felt depressed and guilty because I left my mother with my sister. I never told anybody about her. I look back and see why my relationships failed. The other siblings’ experiences have helped me acknowledge my pain and work on letting go of the past traumas. Thank you for the good work.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

November 18th, 2012

“Your book is such a relief to me. My only sibling was badly handicapped. He has always been the central event in my life but I could never find anything to read that related to my experience. Thanks for your work.  What a jewel for me and others like us.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

September 21st, 2012

“Thank you so much for writing your book, The Normal One. I am the older sister of 2 disabled siblings, and for the first time in my life I felt understood, acknowledged, validated, and even vindicated, in some ways. I feel like I just took a deep breath of fresh air and am very grateful to you, and to those who shared their stories in the book. It was truly amazing and startling to find much of my life story in those pages. It read like a thriller.”

Posted in | Comments Closed

September 21st, 2012

“Tonight I again picked up your book and re-read several parts where I had long ago underlined things that have meant a lot to me. It helped me a lot. Thank you so much for saving my marriage and my sanity, and helping me understand my brother!”

Posted in | Comments Closed

September 20th, 2012

“I recently started reading The Normal One after hearing you speak on NPR. While reading your book I find involuntary tears falling on the pages, tears that have dared never to present themselves. It has touched a very deep, unrevealed place in my heart.

Specifically, I want to thank you so very much for addressing this type of family dynamic that as far as I know has not been identified as clearly or directly as you have done.

As I’m reading the case histories and find myself absolutely amazed how much I have in common with some of the people and their stories! Until now I’ve been baffled and somewhat confused at my personal history and my past/present behavior. Yet now there is a glimmer of insight. It’s as if the pieces to the puzzle have been located—and it feels somewhat miraculous.

Thank you for and from “The Normal One”.

Posted in | Comments Closed