Help! Politics is Putting My Relationships in Jeopardy!

Help! Politics is Putting My Relationships in Jeopardy!

February 26th, 2021

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She’s on the Left, He’s on the Right

February 26th, 2021

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I Love You But I Hate Your Politics

August 12th, 2019

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This Liberal’s Been Married to a Conservative for Decades. Here’s Her Advice.

July 17th, 2019

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How to save politically ‘mixed marriages’ in Trump era

July 9th, 2019

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How not to unfriend your grandmother on Facebook

June 21st, 2019

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‘Don’t drink and talk politics’: Rules for mending relationships

June 17th, 2019

Author and psychotherapist Jeanne Safer joins Morning Joe to discuss her new book ‘I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics,’ which she considers a comprehensive guide to mending relationships that have been strained by political differences.

Dr. Safer on ‘Morning Joe’
JSMSNBC

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Episode 251: I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics by Jeanne Safer

June 17th, 2019

John J. Miller is joined by Jeanne Safer to discuss her book, I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics.

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More Praise for I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics

May 28th, 2019

After over 40 years working as a psychotherapist, Safer has spent a sizable amount of time exploring intimate relationships. She has noticed that now, more than ever before, cherished partnerships—be they romantic, platonic, familial, or otherwise—are greatly endangered by our polarized political climate. Through a series of case studies, Safer explores how people with diametrically opposed viewpoints can maintain healthy, functioning connections. Readers meet leftist fathers who reject right-leaning, veteran sons; conservative husbands who toss the word “liberal” as an insult-grenade at the peak of an argument; and friends who email PowerPoints to their ideological opponents outlining why the other is wrong. The most fervent takeaway: remembering that we cannot change others, only change ourselves. No matter how persistent or prescient we may be, we rarely convince others to join our side. With this, Safer offers rules of engagement for mixed-viewpoint commingling that prioritize respect and care. What makes Safer, a vocal liberal, so qualified? Her decades-long career exploring the mind, and an equally lengthy marriage to a staunchly conservative commentator.
Courtney Eathorne

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Review of I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics

April 23rd, 2019

Psychotherapist and podcaster Safer (The Golden Condom) offers empathetic and sanity-saving advice on navigating the mine fields of political conversation. Safer, a liberal Democrat married to a conservative Republican, shares plenty of hard-won tips from her own life, notably not raising one’s voice, not discussing politics under the influence of alcohol, and, perhaps most apropos in the age of Facebook, not sending a partner unsolicited partisan articles or links on contentious topics. Cautionary tales of relationships gone awry are sprinkled throughout, including a story about female best friends who nearly ended their longtime friendship over a Trump-Hillary debate, and screaming fights between a liberal mother and her conservative teenage son. Safer encourages readers to examine their own motivations for discussions, and realize that most political fights in intimate relationships are not about politics but about a compulsion to change dissimilar views to align with one’s own. She also advises readers to use humor to defuse hostility and to work to understand the viewpoints of others. This insightful, well-reasoned book will help readers negotiate the political differences in their relationships with the people they love most.

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